Episode 247 - Some Things Went Right Without Making Any Noise

Hi I'm Keith and welcome to Lighter than You Started. It's Friday and today I'd like to talk about something that probably happened this week. Something went right. Actually quite a lot of things probably went right you just notice most of them. Because things that go right have an interesting habit.

They're often very quiet. Imagine you leave home in the morning. Your key works in the lock. The car starts or the bus arrives. The traffic lights change.

Your phone connects your password works the lift comes the coffee machine produces coffee you arrive where you need to be. None of this is particularly exciting. You wouldn't probably reach lunchtime and tell somebody you'll never believe the morning I've had my laptop switched on first time. But if it didn't you'd notice immediately. That's the strange imbalance.

When something works as expected it barely enters our awareness. When it doesn't it can become the story of the morning. Perhaps that's reasonable. Problems need attention. If the printer is working you don't need to think about the printer.

If the printer isn't working suddenly you and the printer are in a relationship neither of you wanted. And one of you is going to lose. Probably you. Problems are noisy. They interrupt.

They demand. They make themselves visible. Things going right often simply allow us to continue. And perhaps that's why when we reach Friday our memory of the week can become slightly distorted. We remember the problem, the delay, the difficult conversation, the thing that broke, the plan that changed, the moment something didn't work.

Meanwhile hundreds of ordinary things quietly did. Now this isn't an invitation to become grateful for functioning office equipment. Although if your printer has behaved itself all week perhaps it deserves a nod. Nor is this about forcing ourselves to find positives when something genuinely difficult has happened. Sometimes a week really is hard and recognizing that matters.

But perhaps there's value in noticing that difficulty is often memorable precisely because it interrupted everything that wasn't difficult. Think about a journey. You drive for two hours. For one hour and fifty five minutes everything moves perfectly well. Then you spend five minutes sitting in unexpected traffic.

When somebody asks how the journey was what do you say? You say terrible traffic. Was there? For five minutes? Yes.

But that's the bit they just remembered because it's the bit that asks for your attention. The other hour and fifty five minutes simply happened. Our relationships can be a little like that too. Perhaps someone supports us in dozens of small ways. They remember something, make the tea, reply to the message, pick something up from the shops, listen, turn up, do what they said they'd do.

These things can become part of the background. Then one day they forget and we notice. Again that's human. I'm not suggesting we should pretend disappointment doesn't matter but perhaps Friday is a good opportunity to ask what worked this week without needing me to think about it. That's a slightly different question from what went well because what went well can sound as though we're looking for achievements.

The successful presentation, the completed project, the good news, the thing we're proud of. Those matter but I'm interested today in the quieter category. The things that simply worked. The meeting that happened when it was supposed to. The person who did what they promised.

The technology that cooperated. The journey that was uneventful. The conversation that was easy. The meal that was fine. The ordinary Wednesday afternoon when nothing particularly went wrong.

We don't tend to celebrate uneventful afternoons. Perhaps that's because uneventful sounds boring. But sometimes uneventful is lovely particularly when you've had enough events. There's another quiet success we rarely notice. The problems that didn't happen because of something we did earlier.

You remembered the appointment so you didn't miss it. You charged your phone so the battery didn't run out. You prepared for the meeting so you weren't scrambling five minutes beforehand. You had the conversation so the misunderstanding didn't grow. You left ten minutes earlier so you arrived on time.

Nothing dramatic happened which was precisely the point. Preventive problems don't send congratulatory emails. There's no notification saying well done! The inconvenience you avoided today has successfully not occurred. Maybe there should be.

I'd quite like that. Congratulations Keith because you put your keys in the usual place last night you have saved seven minutes for increasingly irritated searching this morning. Achievement unlocked. But perhaps we can notice some of these things ourselves. Not to turn life into another performance review.

Not to count every successful cup of tea. Simply to correct the picture a little. Because if problems are naturally louder than everything else perhaps the quiet things need us to listen more carefully. Maybe somebody made your week easier without making a fuss about it. Tell them that they did.

Maybe you handled something well and moved on so quickly that you never gave yourself credit. Notice it. Maybe nothing went wrong in an area where you're usually expecting trouble. Enjoy that. And maybe this week was most of the ordinary.

Perhaps that's not faint praise. Ordinary means there may have

been

meals, conversations, work, sleep, laughter, boredom, tea, traffic, messages, little frustrations, small kindnesses, life happening without requiring a dramatic headline. There's a lot to be said for that. I think we can become so accustomed to things working that we mistake them for nothing happening. But often nothing happening means a great many things are working exactly as they should. Perhaps Friday doesn't always need a grand reflection.

We don't need to decide whether this was a successful week. We don't need to produce a list of achievements. Maybe we can simply look back and notice a few quiet things. The things that didn't shout. The people who helped without being asked twice.

The routines that supported us. The decisions that turned out fine. The ordinary moments that carried us from Monday to here And perhaps they: That worked. That helped. That was easier than I expected.

I'm glad that happened. Small acknowledgements, nothing dramatic but perhaps they help us see the week more completely. Because the difficult things we usually make sure we remember them. The good things aren't always so demanding. Sometimes we have to go back and notice them ourselves.

So before this week disappears into the weekend perhaps ask what worked this week without needing me to think about it. You may be surprised by how much there is. Today's thought for you. Some things went right without making any noise. Thank you for sharing this week with me and as always I hope you end today feeling lighter than you started.

Go gently and I'll see you tomorrow on the flip side. Lighter Than You Started is a thing of something publishing production.